Live. Don’t put it off. Don’t wait until your kids are older, your bank account is fatter, or your career is established. You have a passion and you should follow it.
When you do, people will judge you. So what? They’re going to do that anyway.
One ride on the merry-go-round. Make it count.
Oh please write more! I don’t remember how I foundyour blog but I LOVE it and cannot wait for more posts. As a mom of three girls, one of which is a cancer survivor (and will be 13 this year) your writing resonates loudly. Please write more soon!
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Thank you, Dana! I will do my very best. It really is something I enjoy and I think so often, as parents, we all share similar thoughts and struggles. Makes my heart sing to hear that your daughter is a survivor! As a mom of daughters, you might like “When the Time Comes,” if you haven’t already read it.
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My husband came home from work, raving about how your blog on parenting made him laugh out loud. I read it,and loved it. So true, and so wonderfully visual!! I had a 64 karmann ghia-rusted through to pavement. My gas gauge had an R on it instead of an E. I thought that meant there was a reserve tank, until I ran out of gas once, and found the extra Reserve tank was a silver gas can, sitting nicely in the trunk! Love your stuff!
Eli Cobb
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My college classmate shared your most recent piece on Facebook. I laughed out loud and when reading past pieces, cried out loud, too. Your writing is heartfelt and so incredibly enjoyable. I am looking around to see if I can subscribe to your blog……..I’ll figure it out unless you write back in 35 seconds and make my life easier….. 🙂
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I hope you found the subscription button, because I just found these comments in my “About” section! Thanks for reading, Consie!
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Rhonda, I loved your article on “Are we getting a Raw Deal”. It was so spot on! Thank you for posting!
Kristi
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I literally just laughed out loud many times reading your most recent post. Switch the Kents for Merit Menthol 100’s (which I was sent to the corner store to buy), and riding my bike home about 4 neighborhoods away when I was in 3rd grade with a broken ankle (that I walked on for 5 days before going to the ER). And my husband drove a Toyota Celica with bags of cement in the back so it didn’t fishtail when he turned a corner. I love this so much. You are 100% spot on in the madness we have bought into for making things perfect for our kids. Thanks for sharing! Would you mind if I republished on our site beingamom.life and to our 745k Facebook fans (https://www.facebook.com/FansofBeingaMom)?
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Hi Kathy! Thank you for seeing the humor here. I wouldn’t mind at all if you republished on your site. I think we’ve all deserved a laugh this week.
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Kathy, I don’t know why I’m just now seeing this, possibly because I’m technically challenged, but I hope you went ahead and republished on your site. If you didn’t, feel free to!
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Thanks! Just shared it to my personal page and forwarded to my husband. Do you have a bio and pic you want me to use, or a Facebook page or any social media platforms you would like me to include? You can forward it to me directly at kd@beingamom.life.
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I can’t find a way to follow your blogs…
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Amy, I confess to being totally clueless about technology. I think that if you hover your mouse around the bottom right corner of the post, a little box will pop up that says “follow” and has a plus sign. Please try that and reply back if that doesn’t work.
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Spot on! Beautifully written. Funny, poignant and really insightful. Thanks.
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A friend of mine just sent me your ‘raw deal’ post. I have no children, but I literally laughed out loud. Then, I immediately toggled over to Amazon to look for any books written by you. Girl, you need to get on it! You are hilarious!
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Thank you, Bitsey! Working on making Amazon an option.
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Just found your blog. Consider me a fan!
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Raw Deal post = brilliant. Will you be my friend? 😉
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You bet I will!
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OK so you probably didn’t know I was asking that literally. Sent you a message on FB thinking you and I need to talk. 😉 (just letting you know as I have recently found messages that people had sent me from 2009…!!!)
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I have shared your “raw deal” post on FB and with friends. Thank you for your humor… And for the parental mic drop. Well done.
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I have shared your “raw deal” post on FB and with friends. Thank you for your humor… And for the parental mic drop. I feel a bit less out of the loop with my “crazy” parenting that involves my kids having a sense of responsibility, an understanding of consequence, and the word “no”. Well done.
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Raw deal was awesome and cleverly written. Loved every word. Laughed so hard I cried. Thank you. Can’t wait to read more.
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love this!
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Oh can I relate. My father was and still is Big Pete. I worked since I was 16, riding my bike to work or driving hand-me-down vehicles, one of which was my dead great uncle’s huge brown Cadillac. It was not the statement car I would have chosen at the time. (That would have been a VW beetle). Talk about embarrassing. It also had a short in the headlights which believe me was a lot of fun when traveling across town on back roads on the way home from my boyfriend’s house at 2 a.m. But it wasn’t as fun as my friend Spencer’s truck which required the passenger to pull a string to engage the accelerator and, yes, you could see the pavement through the floorboards. I spent nearly every Saturday morning of my childhood filling buckets with one-inch size rocks that Big Pete could use in his landscaping projects, much of the time with a hangover as I entered my teen years. It was for the sake of escaping this combination of discipline and punishment that I left home at 17 to live in cockroach infested apartments and pursue my independence. I’ll also confess that the discipline I experienced during my upbringing has helped me persevere and succeed in life. Don’t get me wrong. I wanted for nothing in my childhood. We had food, clothing, friends, a roof over our head and a warm bed to sleep in every night. I had the first ten-speed racer on the block. We were by no means poor. Our parents loved us, even if they didn’t always know where we were. They took us on great vacations, too. Today, like you, I would give my children the clothes off my back to help make their lives more comfortable. Society has changed since the ’70s and we have marched right over the cliff like lemmings, going into debt to send our kids to band camp, soccer camp, out-of-state tournaments, out-of-state colleges because that’s what “good parents” do. Maybe we should listen more carefully to the echo of our own parents who always admonished: “Just because Jenny does it doesn’t mean you should.” Then again, our parents were so dumb. Right?
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How would one go about asking permission to repost this on a website? Asking for a friend. 😉 Kidding…I work for a positive community website in a small Oklahoma town that you’ve never heard to, and our demo is moms. Your work is perfect. Would you be willing to give me permission to post your writings? We will give you credit and link back to your site, as well. Pretty please? This is gold. And I want to go home and make my 4-year-old mow the lawn now.
Ashley (moreClaremore.com)
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Ashley, please feel free to share it with your moms….but hold off on the mowing until he/she is at least 6 😉
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Thank you so much! I guess I’ll let him off the hook for a couple more years. 😉
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Saw your post shared on twitter and was laughing as I read. Now, I don’t feel so alone in my decision to not throw bday parties for my kids or enrol them in classes. 😃
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Love your parenting post. How can I get permission to republish for my blog?
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Permission granted. Thanks!
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Rhonda, your “Raw Deal” blog couldn’t have come at a better time. My wife and I were actually preparing to have our “State of the Union” sit-down with the kids, especially with summer vacation only a few months away. We will be clearly laying out expectations about what needs to be done around the house going forward. We constantly , although more my wife, grumble about how they are wasting their pre-adult years away and they won’t have the necessary life skills. You were bang on with the fact they will have no good memories to share. A few weeks a couple of long time high school buddies and myself went to a concert. One of my friends brought his 16 year old daughter along. The three of us laughed our butts off the whole way down talking about the “the good old days ” while she sat plugged into her iPhone listening to music and texting. Barely a word out of her. Uggh……We know grounding doesn’t work anymore because no one goes anywhere! Shut the Wi-Fi router down for a couple of hours and you’ll see them scramble! Trust me, Rhonda you’re not alone. We all want the best for our kids, but the buck stops with “entitlement”. If you don’t want shoes from Walmart, get a job!!
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How funny! We just had our “Come to Jesus” meeting a couple of days ago about the coming summer months and how they’re going to go down. Mine were receptive. Hope yours are too!
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Thanks. As part of our family meeting, they also will have to read (remember reading, kids?) “Raw Deal” 🙂
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Make sure you add that we only had 3 channels and had to walk across the room to change them. Don’t tell them I told you this, but I used to make my son earn PlayStation time by reading. Worked like a charm 😉
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This completely resonates for a parent who finds himself falling into those same traps you discuss while having lived that same experience growing up. Cars for my brothers and I that were called things like “The Uggabug” as in ugly, “The Hearst” as in the size for a funeral. A Ford Pinto station wagon that wouldn’t fit the “unbeknownst to me” barrel skirt my prom date wore. Priceless remembrances. Working while we were young for our extra cash needs. Finding our ways in the world. Not being treated like we were deserving of everything. There were always those with more but we never felt like we were missing out. The journey was the life lesson learned. Thanks for the reminder and maybe even a wake-up call that could bring a parent to step back and offer some alternate guidance for their children.
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Haha fantastic article thank you. All spot on and the 2nd last paragraph about standing in the front seat – gold! Thank you.
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Loved Raw Deal. Funny and poignant. I read this last week on a friend’s FB page and have since thought about it/talked about it several times. So many well expressed sentiments, including the final sentence. I just shared on my FB and subscribed to your blog. I look forward to reading more!
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Everything is very open with a really clear description of the challenges.
It was really informative. Your site is very helpful. Many thanks for sharing!
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Just read everything I could find of yours-LOVE! You’re speaking my language…I am a single mom of a thirteen year old boy. A boy that we celebrated his ninth birthday as his “halfway outta the house” birthday. NOT because I can’t wait ’til he is gone, but because I will not raise him to believe he should stay on my couch in the basement until he is 28 eating fritos and playing video games… Oh my lord can I identify! Thank you from the bottom of my heart, which may have grown three sizes reading your words.
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Wow, Dana! You made my day! I love when someone can identify with what I’m sharing….even if they don’t agree. As hard as being a single mom is, I know from personal experience that there are gifts in it too. The relationship that exists between me and my kids is wonderful and unique. I’m convinced that part of the reason is our little army of three. Thank you so much for reading and for taking the time to comment!
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Love it..You explain it better than Malcolm Gladwell…Write the book…We all will share stories for you to use…..
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There’s nothing I would rather do!
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Rhonda, let’s write a book! I know this seems very forward, but I’ve been thinking about this for some time now. I’ve even started writing some of my own stories and thoughts. I’ve had a very colorful life and have similiar memories and thoughts about life as you. Currently I work in dozens of school districts with the most challenging and severe behavior students and I pull from my own background and thoughts on where things went wrong (along with my professional training) all the time. Please contact me if you’re at all interested. Thank you and keep blogging.
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Hi! Thank you for reading and commenting. I would love to hear more about your book idea. Email me at rlstephens19@gmail.com
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Hi — I’m with ABC News and am interested in reprinting you “raw deal” post with full credit and link back to you. Will you email me? Genevieve.s.brown@abc.com — thanks!
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Hi. I stumbled upon your blog and I am thankful I did. Are you still an active blogger? Thank you. You brought me to tears. Helped me.
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Hi Tawnya, yes. I have some things I’m working on. Life has been hectic lately…full time job and some side work writing ( that pays!) are keeping me busy, so I haven’t posted anything recently. You’ve inspired me to carve out some time and just make it happen! However the blog helped you, I’m glad it did. Sometimes it just helps to know that we all share in similar experiences and struggles. I’m curious. Which article did you read? Thank you so much for taking the time to visit and especially for taking the time to comment. Hope you’ll come again soon!
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Thanks for your perspective. As an adult who grew up in a family where my parents didn’t always have the money for groceries – I learned a lot about hard work and sacrifice – and I value my college degrees so much more than most – because my parents didn’t pay for any of it – they were just struggling to survive. When I “made it” in life, I was able to take care of them. Which is the way it should be!!!!
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How wonderful to have parents who never gave up despite challenges. They obviously did many things right!
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My Mercury Capri I bought as a freshman in college was blue when purchased, and simply a guess after 8 yrs of college and med school due to so much sheet metal on the body from rust. A fireman in Philly who worked in a bad neighborhood said it was the perfect car for him to drive to work. I still miss that car. Your parenting article was brilliant.
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Thanks, JC. I miss my MG too. We could have used it in the den for additional seating. 😉
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I am almost…almost…embarrassed to admit that I literally, no joke pee’d on the floor running to the bathroom laughing my a$$ off. This mimics my life and the life of my siblings to a “T”. Frankly, at 48, most of my friends as well. I could add a couple of things that might enrich the tale, but it’s pretty much all there. Amazing enough I survived my first car, a Ford Pinto, which was later know to blowup on rear impact. But let me tell you this, I was the first one to get a piece of shit car out of all my friends and we drove it like a clown car. That car wasn’t meant to accommodate four humans…it expanded when necessary to accommodate six or more, and that was dressed up with big hair and jeans we zipped up with hangers because they were so tight. God those were such amazing times. Bravo! Superb writing and great storytelling.
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Thank you for this and for having a sense of humor. It was a blast to write!
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