Stuff I’ve Learned the Hard Way

1) Love, when done right, is an endless act of forgiveness, under-promising, and over-delivering.

2) Tequila, when consumed, should always be chilled and chased with OJ.

3) It is not enough to have a goal, you must also have a plan that outlines how you’re going to get there.

4) Children should be celebrated for who they were born to be, not molded into who we want them to be.

5) Travel is important…especially for children. And while I love the beach, I don’t mean just that.

6) The laziest person you know will get a job because of who they know. Connections are everything.

7) Everyone has the power to make a difference for someone.

8) Being dependent is dangerous, especially if you’re a woman.

9) Allowing someone to be dependent upon you is dangerous, especially if you’re a man.

10) All pets should be spayed and neutered, regardless of how cute they might be. There are lots of really cute, really awesome dogs and cats out there looking for a home, right now.

11) Always buy white towels and linens.

12) What’s inside a person can make the outside really attractive….and vice versa.

13) There’s no intimacy without vulnerability.

14) If you still have your best friend from when you were 12, at 50, you’re pretty darn lucky. I’m pretty darn lucky.

15) I may be as wise now, as I believed I was in my 20’s.

16) Always put your best foot forward, but don’t stress too much. Not once, in my adult life, has anyone ever asked what my class rank was or what kind of GPA I graduated with…..thank god.

17) There’s always going to be someone prettier, smarter, and more successful than I…and I’m good with that.

18) Personal integrity is not overrated. Look for people who have it. Keep them in your circle.

19) Parents should never coach their kids.  You’re much better suited to be a #1 fan. If you’re the coach, they are never really sure how good they are.

20) Eat the damn doughnut; but only once in a while, not every day.

21) If you have a personal struggle, the best way to combat it is to get outside of yourself and do something for someone else.

22) Watching too much TV kills productivity and creativity. Turn it off.

23) Expose your children to information and encourage them to develop their decision-making skills. Don’t force feed them your beliefs. Critical thinking skills are crucial to survival. The Internet and helicopter parenting have created a world full of followers.

24) Gossiping about what other people’s children are doing is a slippery slope. After all, did your parents know everything you were doing? Do you think you know everything your kids are doing?

25) Once your children are in high school, the die is cast. Stalk them all you want to but they’ll find a way to do exactly what they want to do, and it will erode your relationship in the process. Instead, set reasonable boundaries and resist the urge to freak out when they come to you with something you kind of wish you didn’t know.

26) Some days you won’t like your significant other….at all. Guess what? That means you’re normal.

27) The right man or woman will love your kids from a previous marriage as much as you do.

28) Regular exercise fixes a lot of problems that medications, therapists, and booze won’t.

29) Nobody likes an idiot. Don’t be one. And yes, it’s a choice. Read a book.

30) Down time with your kids is essential. No TV, no phones.  Just conversation, and maybe a card game or some Scrabble.

31) If your relationships aren’t working, it’s because your selection criteria sucks.

32) Being positive gets you a whole lot farther down the road than negativity ever will.

33) Almost everyone looks good in pink.

34) Whatever you’re currently saving for your retirement, probably isn’t enough.

35) The reason that church and state need to remain separate is because this is where the majority of corruption lives. To combine the two would be catastrophic.

36) You will open your heart and trust people. Some of them will betray that trust. Only an ass does that. Move on.

37) Fresh cut flowers make a house a home.

38) Beneath anger you will almost always find a thick layer of hurt.

39) Emotional people never make good decisions. Close your mouth and wait.

40) There will be times you have to choose between your job and your children. Choose your children every single time. They grow up entirely too fast and this Merry-Go-Round only makes one rotation.  Enjoy every single moment.


23 thoughts on “Stuff I’ve Learned the Hard Way

  1. You are a wise woman! Love reading your blog. You write about things I can really relate to! Keep on keeping on and thank you. – Deb

    Liked by 1 person

  2. OMG, you said it.

    8) Being dependent is dangerous, especially if you’re a woman.

    9) Allowing someone to be dependent upon you is dangerous, especially if you’re a man.

    Thank you. My mom raised me this way. She didn’t work and had no money of her own. My dad was great–no abuse, nothing like that, but she always said to never be dependent on anyone and to get married because I wanted to. I’ve heeded her advice my whole life.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much! This blog started as an outlet for me and I never imagined anyone other that a few friends and family would ever take the time to look at it. I love it when someone tells me it resonates with them as well!


  3. Great article!

    My favorites are: 15, 19, 25, and 26. I read your latest article “Parenting: Are We Getting a Raw Deal?” before reading this one. You are inspiring, and I can relate to what you’ve said and agree even as a millennial.

    Adversity and independence have taught me a lot over the years, life skills that are imperative to growth and survival. My goal is to bring these skills to middle school aged children and to continue the conversation throughout high school and young adulthood.

    Thank you for using your voice and letting Him lead you.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Demetris, I just now saw your comment. I love that you have a specific goal and that it involves sharing your knowledge and life skills with young people.

      Something tells me you’re going to change many lives. Best of luck to you!


  4. When I was a teenager, my mother told me, “you wouldn’t worry so much about what other people think of you if you knew how seldom they did”! Your advise goes well with hers.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Hello old friend. Spent the evening rereading your blog. It brought about so many emotions, mainly because I know exactly what you are talking about in some– because I was there for so many (John running into the parked car!). I laughed when you used the word “strumpet” in one blog, sure that it was a memory back to my older brother calling us that (we had to look it up so we could know exactly what insult we were dealing with). I remember talking to you about #13 from this article after my second failed marriage. I especially remember reading #14 and smiling (that was before you deleted part of it). Your words are smart and powerful and heartfelt. You always were a good writer, but now you have life’s wisdom to add to the mix. I can’t decide which blog I like best or what piece of advice is most real for me because there are so many, but the one about anger—if you peel it back, there is a world of hurt underneath (or something like that), that one is sticking with me today. Congratulations on this blog, it’s amazing.


  6. 4 years later, I still leave this as a bookmark on my laptop. When I’m having a bad day/week, then I read it. Really brings things back into perspective. Thanks for writing this…..


  7. Wonderful writing and very thought provoking especially in today’s age. Continued Good Luck on your journey and being a purveyor of Good Thoughts with others.



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